Formal Letter
To: Brad
From: Fazira
Date: September 2016
Subject: A Brief Introduction
From: Fazira
Date: September 2016
Subject: A Brief Introduction
Dear Brad,
I am Fazira and my degree programme is Sustainable
Infrastructure Engineering (Building Services). I am 20 years old and I
graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic before my admission into SIT (Singapore
Institute of Technology). The course I took in Ngee Ann Polytechnic was Hotel
& Leisure Facilities Management (HLFM).
I have an interest in scented candles and have bought seven
candles so far. My favourites from the seven candles would be the beach cabana
scent, which smells like a certain type of soap, and the chocolate cake scent.
I also enjoy relaxing, and would often just watch television or listen to music
for long hours.
As I have mentioned before, I am studying Sustainable Infrastructure
Engineering (Building Services). I took up this course to further study the
basics that I have learnt during my polytechnic study. I hope I will be able to
understand enough of the details to be able to teach someone else. Also, with
the knowledge, I would want to try and create a new idea if the opportunity arises.
Warm Regards,
Fazira
Commented on Ali's post (15/9)
Commented on Alcina's post (17/9)
Commented on Adam's post (17/9)
Fazira
Commented on Ali's post (15/9)
Commented on Alcina's post (17/9)
Commented on Adam's post (17/9)
Post is well structured and detailed. You were Very concise in your likes and dislikes. For your likes, try to relate it more on engineering as its more related.
ReplyDeleteFor your last paragraph, you don't need to post about from which course you were from. It's repetitive.
You might want to restructure this sentence 'Also, with the knowledge, I would want to try and create a new idea if the opportunity arises."
Hi Fazira
ReplyDeleteYour email was pleasant to read. Your flow of content was nicely structured. However, I do feel that there could be some areas that could be elaborated more.
For your last paragraph, it would be good if you could explain more in detail on the basics, which led you to take up the course. And lastly, I am hoping to know what kind of knowledge that will influence you to create this new idea of yours.
Overall, a great effort!
Masyita
Hi Fazira, your brief introduction was entertaining, especially the part about your interest in scented candles. That is certainly a cool interest and one I am curious about. I really wonder how awesome chocolate cake scented candles must have smelled like!
ReplyDeleteAs a whole, the post was really concise and straight to the point. Keep up the good work!
Hey Fazira,
ReplyDeleteIts hard to come by someone who appreciate candles!Your post is straightforward but there arent much details on why you chose this course.
Also your first sentence could be phrased as "I am Fazira and i am currently pursuing a bachelor in... "
Aside from that i enjoyed reading your post!
Thank you for this clear, concise letter, Fazira. It is generally well structured and informative. Like other readers, I was impressed by your fascination with collecting scented candles. (It's a short leap from that to aromatherapy, which you might want to explore.)
ReplyDeleteIt was mentioned by Ming Kang that you might have included more detail as to why you joined this course. It seems that you have edited the post since he commented, though I'm not certain. Did you?
All in all, this is a good effort!